| | Gee! It's been a while, hasn't it?! Wow, where do I begin?! For one, I'm starting the grueling week of final exams, and needless to say, mine are at the end of this week coming up! OUCH! Ah, at least I have almost the entire week to study, so that can be a good thing. That should be a good thing. Pray for me "y'all." 
Man, the past two months have been very rough for me. I've been on an emotional roller coaster for many reasons. One being school. Another? One of the two jobs that I work on campus: MENTORING. It's so tough for me because one of the guys that I mentor to just doesn't want to listen to my advice, and is being totally lazy about his studies. He's not doing well with his classes and I think it's because of the lack of motivation for studying that he has for his classes, especially the difficult ones. I'm really concerned for him, and I need to leave it in God's hands. Okay, one down.....two to go.
Thirdly, plans for the wedding are bombarding me that I just want to scream sometimes. I've noticed that I've been getting very (and I mean VERY) irritable with everyone around me....mainly my beloved mother and my fiance's mother. Lord, forgive me for reacting the way that I have been with them! They are my world, and I don't want to hurt either of them. Which leads to my third and most emotional encounter to date....my sister-in-law.
WOW! I don't even know where to begin talking about this situation. Let's just say that ever since their wedding in February, I've been getting A LOT of negative feedback on her behalf. It all started when I refused to be a part of her Bachelorette festivities because I stood my ground on a topic of conversation that I wasn't going to budge on: NIGHTCLUBS. I mean, what kind of an atmosphere do you think I want to be in?! If it were for my own flesh and blood I still wouldn't go!! The Bible says in Galatians, "abstain from ALL appearance of evil." I don't think she quite understood why I refused to participate, and said that I was being selfish....heck, if it's for the Lord.....OF COURSE I'M BEING SELFISH!!! It was just downhill from there.
The worst came last Thursday, when she sent me text messages in reaction to a playful answer I sent to her in response to a question she had. I figured she was being funny, so I decided to go along with it and be funny as well.....BOY WAS I WRONG! She lashed out at me and said that I was putting out negativity, being insensitive, inconsiderate and a long list of other negative things that she just had to say to me "because no one else will tell me these things." I had no idea anyone was keeping tabs on me like that! That was definitely an experience I will NEVER forget. It still hurts to talk about it, and after praying about it, I finally gave into the Holy Spirit's suggestion and apologized. Even though I felt peace, I felt a little disheartened. I felt like I'm always the one apologizing to her, even though it's not my fault. Then the Lord reminded me of a passage that I read in the Bible, "Do I forgive you seven times? No! Not seven times, but seventy times seven!" Thank the Lord for being such a constant reminder that I must be the example as a Christian.
I can say that it has definitely changed my relationship with her and my brother, whom I love dearly, but I must remember that no matter who comes into my life (or my family for that matter), it shouldn't change my relationship with God. He's my ONLY source of wisdom, strength, and support. So, thanks (again) Lord, for reminding me who I am, and putting her into my life to refine me as a Christian. |
